From my “Southern Reflections” stories
© Copyright 2003 by: Dewayne Gore
All Rights Reserved
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Warning: There is a reference to an (unintentional) adult topic. If you are offended, please move and do not read this post:
Thanksgiving, 1975. I was fourteen years old.
As you might have already figured out, the Bee Gees were a big hit during the 1970′s, and I, being a teenager (barely), was very influenced by them and their music. Well, at that time, my hair was pretty long. About shoulder legnth, which was as long as my mother would allow it to get. I knew, as always, that we had “company coming” so I decided to look really cool and grown-up for the family members who had not seen me for some time.
A couple of days before the holiday gathering at our house, I had purchased a rather inexpensive handheld blow dryer to dry my hair with. On the morning of the get-together, I did my usual routine of straightening up the room (aka: shove as much as you can under your bed and let the blanket hang low…), then I went into the bathroom to take a shower and get dressed up for the day.
After my shower, I got dressed in my long collar disco shirt, flare leg slacks, and side zip boots. Looking at my hair which was still wet, I decided to live up to the part to which I had adorned myself. (I did, by the way, look kinda like Barry Gibb, didn’t I?). I went back in the bathroom, blow dryer in hand, and commenced to preparing myself. Man, I felt good about myself! Damn, I was looking good and feeling good too! My kid brother was gonna be JEALOUS!
Holding my head upside down, I blow-dried my hair for about fifteen minutes or so. Naturally, when I stood back up, my hair was all puffed out ready for combing lightly into place. I looked like a white kid with an afro. Carefully layering it, I “feathered” my hair back until I was sure it closely resembled one, if not more of, the Bee Gees. What next? Well, after all that hard work, I didn’t want my hair to get ruined, so I borrowed about half a can or so of hairspray from my mom just to be on the safe side. I was ready for action.
I could almost hear “Saturday Night Fever” playing as I walked down the hallway to the living room where my family members and guests had gathered. I just KNEW I would be the center of attention when I entered the room. I walked in kinda strutting’ my stuff and my older brother, Johnny, was the first to notice me.
Johnny said, “Son, what on EARTH happened to your head?” Well, not wanting older and self-righteous brother to get the best of me in front of all the family members, my mind raced for a quick comeback to his remark. The only thing I could think of was a phrase that I had heard a few times at school but really did not know what it meant So, my mind racing for quick comebacks, I thought, ‘hmm…blow dryer…did a good job on my hair’; I looked him straight in the eye, stuck out my chest, and confidently replied “I GOT ME A BLOW JOB!”
The room exploded. Seriously. Into tiny pieces like fragments of a mirror on a hard sidewalk. My mother about fell off the couch; my sister(s) screamed hysterically, not able to catch their breaths for laughing so hard. Another sister fell, LITERALLY, onto the floor laughing, and several others ran from the room trying not to get choked on what they were eating or drinking, while I was consumed with choking on the words which I so boldly spoke. My brother, in a straight face, says “Well, it must have been a GOOD one, I ain’t NEVER seen one do anybody like that.”
That had to have been the single most EMBARASSING moment of my life, bar none. I do not, and cannot, remember leaving that room. I’m quite sure I did, because I’m here now, and not still stuck in that horrid moment. I think I learned my lesson, though, about wanting to be the center of attention! So, go ahead and laugh, as if you needed an invitation. Just remember, we all had to learn at some point in time.
I felt a special need to share this on this Thanksgiving, as this is the first Thanksgiving that I am without Johnny in my life, but I will always think of him calling and wishing me a Happy Thanksgiving and asking if I had gotten a…. well… hair styling…. today.
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